around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
