Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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