he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize