here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize