Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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