just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
