I seem to have left my pride at pride
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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