dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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