3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Sober January is a disaster.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
how drunk are you?
Several
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
