I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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