He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
it glows. i had to have it.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
