I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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