So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
