You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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