Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
