their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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