The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
