It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
