ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
