tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
