Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
