Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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