i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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