I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
