i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
