tell your sister to shave her snatch
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
