Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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