So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
