Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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