margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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