i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just want nice things and good sex
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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