i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
