Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you traded sex for a burrito?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
