I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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