Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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