they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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