i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize