You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize