he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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