no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
