C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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