he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
