Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Be still, my beating vagina.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
