I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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