doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
