When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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