...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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