In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
