I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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