In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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