Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just had sex on a roof
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
