I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
