Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
