Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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