I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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