There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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