Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
