I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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