can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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