I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize