so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
