Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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