You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
