Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
