There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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