so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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