I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I love having hate sex.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
